Used

The last story before all the pathways cross. With an ending to mirror that of ‘Different Worlds’, ‘Used’ puts Rowan and Dana on a collision course

Story 14 – Dana counts her blessings when Chris shows up her door, knowing she’s an easy mark. It all seems well and good for her until he disappears, driving Dana to hunt him down, and wind up in very serious trouble

All stories, in order, here

How much porn can a man possibly watch?

He idly fondled himself as if that extra minute or two of effort would make any difference. Chris gave up. Still no response. The blond bombshell with ‘huge, wet knockers’ just didn’t do it for him. Neither did the red-head, or the so-called teen. Their over-the-top writhing and moans were just stupid. He never thought he’d see the day that he’d think that. 

He extracted his hand from his pants and dropped it to his side. He hadn’t been laid in months, though when he had it proved to be one hell of a mistake. He’d been lucky to have gotten out of there alive. 

He wondered what she was up to. Not that he was eager to see her again. 

He shifted uncomfortably, grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, sinking deeper into his chair. His mind wandered back to that morning.

If you ever, you know, need some companionship…

Her words had seemed preposterous at the time. Who in their right mind would consider going back after an eyeful of her sick little hobbies? He hadn’t noticed her gallery of horrors when they first went into the dark bedroom. He’d been far too drunk, with his face buried in her bared breasts or between her thighs. He later wondered if she’d kept the light off on purpose. God knows he wouldn’t have stayed had he seen all those photos. Not to mention the taser or the ether. 

The rest of the décor had done nothing to assuage his concerns. The room was littered with creepy little dolls enduring horrific fates. Hanging, disembowelment and decapitation seemed to be her favorite themes. Pins were stuck in most, others had been rendered limbless. He also recalled a surprising collection of ropes, chains and bondage equipment weighing down the bed frame. One or two might have seemed kinky, but there were at least three dozen different pieces.

Chris shuddered, remembering the scene as if it were yesterday. If she’d honestly thought I might come back, she is even more delusional than I realized. That, and possibly violent, maybe even criminal.

His hand found its way back to his groin all on its own.

She’s also willing, and available.

The second the thought appeared, he shook his head to deny it. Flustered, he extracted himself from the chair to grab another beer from the fridge. This wasn’t the first time this contemplation had wormed its way into his mind.

Was she really that bad? She might have had an unhealthy hobby snapping pictures, but she really hadn’t hurt any one of them. He’d read every police report with her name on it after that night, looking for anything that could point to guilt. She’d been fined for all sorts of petty things, mostly disturbing the peace, but nothing criminal. If someone had objected to the photos, it would have been a civil matter. Though, from the looks of some of those men, they had found a much quicker method of dealing with her, through force.The only real victim here was her. 

That could not be right. Not after what he saw in her bedroom. 

There was one thing. Stalking WAS a crime. He had no doubt she’d probably followed them, but if she had, where were the complaints? Restraining orders? Arrests? Either no one had bothered to report it, or, she was never a threat. 

He hesitated before opening the bottle. What if she really was just a lonely woman who took comfort in a few paper companions?

Once she’d lowered her defenses, Dana had been a lot of fun to be around. When it was just the two of them, in her own home where she was comfortable, a whole different person had been revealed. She was quick-witted and humorous, with her infectious laugh and ridiculous games. Any hint of the bizarre behavior he’d seen earlier that day had melted away and was quickly forgotten. He’d genuinely enjoyed her company. 

Would it really be so bad to see how she’s doing? 

Chris put the bottle back in the fridge, forcing her out of his mind. Grumbling to himself he grabbed his coat and shoes. That’s it! I’m going to the bar to find myself a real girl. Sitting in this room was getting unhealthy. 

How the hell had he ended up here? He stared at her house from across the street. What a wreck!This place must have been driving the whole neighborhood’s house prices down. 

If it wasn’t for the light through the curtains, he would have thought it abandoned. Some of its most striking features included a boarded-up window, and large areas of missing paint on the siding. Some of the roof’s shingles were long gone. There appeared to be what looked like massive letters graffitied across the top. He couldn’t make out what it said though. The rest of it must have been on the other side. Half the lawn was clearly dead. The other consisted almost entirely of dandelions. God knows how, but even more were thriving in the gutters, those that were still in place, that is. 

As if all that was enough, there was her battered old wreck of a car. It looked like it was begging to be put out of its misery. Someone had scrawled ‘wash me’ on the back window, though he doubted doing so would help its appearance. The driveway it rested on was cracked and uneven, with a few more dandelions to finish the look.

A shadow passed by the illuminated curtain. She was home.

What the hell am I doing?

He paused, about to turn around, then spun back to the door. Inhaling sharply, he knocked three times before he could convince himself not to. Ten seconds or so later the door opened a crack. A cautious eye peered out. He could hear some sort of music in the background, if you could call it that. It sounded like a man with his balls caught in a vice, screaming out in falsetto while smashing an accordion against the stage. Whatever activity the music had been the soundtrack for was anyone’s guess.

Momentarily stunned by the so-called tune, Chris forgot what he was planning to say. Dana opened the door wider, looking at him in disbelief. He recovered quickly from the shock of the grating song, but was now bewildered by her appearance. Her hair had been randomly sectioned into thick clumps of varying sizes, tied at each base with rubber bands. They stuck out in all different directions as if a small child had been her stylist.

All she seemed to be wearing was an oversized sweatshirt hanging dangerously low off one shoulder. If it dropped any further, her right breast would be making a familiar reappearance. Her skinny little legs stuck out from the base, which barely covered her groin. If she’d lifted her arms, he’d know pretty quickly if she’d chosen to wear panties.

She leaned out, looking left, then right, expecting some sort of trap. Were there others waiting in the bushes? Surveying the scene and ready to strike, she wondered. What had she done this time? Finding nothing suspicious, she shifted her attention back to him. He wasn’t in uniform. What was he doing here? He began mouthing something unintelligible. Was that some sort of greeting? 

She reached out a tentative hand, prodding him in the sternum. He abruptly quieted, a bit confused. She poked him again, harder this time, forcing him to step back. Satisfied that he wasn’t a hallucination, she grabbed him by the front of his shirt, yanking him hard into the house. She practically flew at the door to slam it shut. 

They stared at each other for a moment before he stammered “Iyuh….” She never let him finish, latching onto him with desperately grasping hands, swallowing his lips whole. She didn’t bother to linger though, abandoning his mouth for a much bigger prize. She disappeared downwards, undoing his pants before starting to work into him like there was a time limit before he’d disappear. The girl meant business, attacking her role with relish. Her greedy enthusiasm put others he’d had to shame.

Need quickly overcame what little reason he had left. She was a hell of a lot better than in the vague memories. Sex-starved and now fully aroused, he couldn’t wait any longer. He pulled away, grabbed her by the waist and lifted her onto the nearby console table. With haste, he removed the impeding panties,throwing them somewhere behind him. Lifting her legs, he desperately thrust into her, penetrating deep. Thestagnant air was rapidly filled with his feverish moans and her euphoric cries, as she threw her arms around him, clawing at his back. 

In a mere minute or two it was over, peaking with one last determined whimper. Spent, he extracted himself, slowly pulling away from her loosened grasp. She reluctantly let him go. He stood for a moment looking awkward, then did himself up and left. Dana remained on the table, stunned, watching the door close behind him. Not a word had been spoken. She looked at her quivering legs, flabbergasted, then slid down from the table. She eyed the door again, brushing a few stray hairs from her forehead then walked back to her project, confused.

A week went by. There was another knock at the door. She again approached it with apprehension,already having convinced herself the whole thing had been a particularly vivid fantasy. The alternative couldn’t possibly be true. But then who was it out there, waiting? 

She opened the door slowly to find Chris there, again. He seemed a bit more confident. Hopeful, with a generous sprinkling of desperate.

“Hi,” he said, leaving it at that.

They made it all the way to the couch this time, ridding themselves of some clothing along the way. A few words were uttered, in breathless, desperate bursts, but the rest was the same. He did what he needed to, then left.

He returned four days later, after which his visits became more frequent. Each time, he stayed a bit longer, but no more than an hour or so and never overnight. Though it would have been the most comfortable place for them, he refused to step foot in the bedroom. Desperate to up the fun they could be having, she took down her collection of photos, stuffing everything that might spook him into boxes. It took time, but eventually she found a few tantalizing ways to convince him to enter.

Dana knew she was being used at first, but it was better that than being dismissed or ignored. It was a massive improvement from being alone. He never kissed her, or asked about her day. He never talked about himself or showed interest in her. They rarely talked at all, aside from excited utterances, or a brief few words, like Chris asking for a glass of water. 

As grateful as she was for the attention, his habit of leaving soon after started grating on her. Nothing she said or did would convince him to stay. She’d tried pleading, negotiating, even trying to get him drunk again, but he would always slip her grasp. It was a delicate balance of efforts to convince, and care not to drive him away entirely.

Her problems seemed solved one day when he forgot she was supposed to feel anonymous. She’d been going out of her way to please and excite him, getting increasingly more creative and daring each time. She’d never been shy or particularly vanilla to begin with, but it all seemed dull compared to her more recent efforts.

It was a little experiment with a few household items that tipped him over the edge. Caught up in the effects of a mind-bending orgasmic explosion he threw her down on the bed and started kissing her like she was life-giving sustenance after weeks of starvation.

“Oh GOD you are incredible!” he cried when he could find the time to breathe. “I love you, God I love you!” 

It all should have ground to a halt when he realized what he’d said, but he was too wrapped up in the shuddering aftershocks still flooding his mind. He wanted to give more, but he was utterly spent, with deep satisfaction still coursing through him. He rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling for a while. 

She turned to him elated, committing the look on his face to memory, mind coursing with glee. He closed his eyes, mumbled something that sounded like ‘wow’ then rolled onto his side to cozy up against her. He wrapped a protective arm around her frail little body and was out like a light. She held her breath, scared that even the rise of her chest might wake him. This wasn’t being used any more, she’d made progress. He had just blurted it out but what was important was that he’d said it. It wasn’t like in the trashy romance novels she sometimes read, but life never was, was it? She nestled in closer to envelop herself in his warmth, hoping sleep would never come. She wanted this moment to last as long as it could. In Dana’s mind, her years of solitude were officially over. Her heart pounded with the power of a jackhammer, an overstretched smile plastered on her face. Blood coursed through her brain, igniting everything in its path. She hastily covered a hand over her mouth to keep herself from screaming out in triumph. She had him. She’d won him over, her boyfriend!

He never said anything like that again but that was all right. He showed his affection in his own little way. He didn’t shy away from locking lips anymore. He started hanging around longer, even when too spent to consider a repeat performance. He let her cook for him, which thrilled her to no end. He always passed on the wine though. Seemed strange at first. He’d reacted so strongly to its alluring flavors last time. Had to keep his mind clear, he would say. She supposed it made sense. He was a police officer after all.

It did disappoint her that he never stayed the night, but he had a valid excuse; he was always working the next day and starting early at that. He couldn’t possibly find time to go all the way home to change first, wherever home was that is. 

On the plus side he got a little chattier. Not about himself though. She’d ask sometimes, but he didn’t really want to talk about it. He was a private person. Deflecting, he started asking about her instead. There was enough in that house to pique his curiosity. Like why was the place in such disrepair? Or, how on earth she did pass the time without a TV? 

When they weren’t having sex, they joked. She was just as much fun sober as she had been when drunk. He’d never known what she was going to come up with next. There were wild fairy tales she’d make up on the spot, or silly little games he kept getting drawn into. She made fun of herself a lot, which was refreshing. So many people took themselves too seriously.

Dana was the happiest she’d been in living memory. Massive and regular doses of dopamine do that. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt down, anxious, or with her fight or flight response turned up to its maximum setting. She was floating on air, her mind racing with ideas and motivations. She felt alive again. All in all, it was the best relationship she’d ever been in.

This day had left both of them on a high. Chris stumbled out of the front door giggling. Dana quickly followed, trying to get at the ticklish spot on his belly. There was an air of puppy love about their antics before he drew her in close with a lingering kiss. He then broke the embrace, and backed down the stairs, waving a final goodbye. She squirmed on the stoop, nibbling on a fingernail, fluttering the ones on the other hand before retreating inside.

He turned towards the car and froze in utter terror. There, across the street, was a very familiar face. A familiar, very angry face. With jellied legs, and his stomach in knots, he approached the recently promoted Sergeant Daniels’ car. He’d been driving by to check up on the woman when he’d seen Chris’ own sedan. His senior motioned him to get in with a furious jerk of his head. 

Chris complied but could not look at him. Seconds ticked by, with nothing said, just the infuriated breaths of his mentor. His unfocused glare stared resolutely ahead.

“What the FUCK was that?” he shouted, breaking the silence. Chris jumped.

“No…nothing,” he stammered.

Daniels turned to him, his eyes blazing with rage. 

Chris turned pale. “We..werrwerfugbudis”

“WHAT!?”

With nowhere to turn Chris cried “WE’RE FUCK BUDDIES!”

Daniels stared at him in disbelief. “DOES SHE KNOW THAT!??” he bellowed.

Astonished and irritated by the question, Chris forgot himself for a moment and yelled back a reply. “Of course she knows that! She’s not as stupid as you think!”

“How long has this been going on!?”

“I uh…” Chris said, faltering. 

“WHEN did this start?”

The younger man sank deeper into his seat. There was no escaping the question, the man made a living out of spotting lies. Chris shifted uncomfortably, his voice dropping to miserable mutter. “Christmas Eve.”

“WHAT!? What the hell did you do!?”

“I checked up on her, that’s all! She was in a bad state!” 

“AND!?”

“I uh, got pretty drunk. We got pretty drunk.”

Daniels slammed his head back on the headrest, groaning. 

Desperate to redeem himself in any way possible, Chris leapt to his own defense. “That was it! She was perfectly happy to leave it at that! Called it the best Christmas gift she ever got then went back to sleep. I didn’t see her again for months!”

Knowing it wasn’t the end of the questioning, Chris took a risk with the rest of the story. “We crossed paths a few weeks ago. One thing led to another.” It may not have been the whole truth, but he was hoping it sounded good enough he wouldn’t be probed further.

“Do you care at all for her?” the man asked, but he already knew the answer.

“It’s just a bit of harmless fun,” Chris murmured. “It meant nothing.”

“NOTHING? What I just saw didn’t look like nothing! That woman is infatuated with you!”

This time Chris had nothing to say. He’d been avoiding the issue, but even he wasn’t so foolish as to have missed the signs. He just didn’t want to admit it. He also had no idea how to deal with it. Daniels grumbled a wordless comment. It was an age-old story. Another stupid, naïve kid listening to his dick instead of his brain. 

“You are going back in there, and you’re going to end it.”

“She’s really not that bad,” Chris asserted shakily. “She’s kinda fun actually.” 

Maybe too much fun. It was like she was stuck in the ‘on’ position, bouncing around the house like she was mainlining espresso. He once found her dangling from a light fixture, singing some crazy song because she ‘felt great!’  It wasn’t exactly a problem, her energy was infectious, but he often wondered if her ridiculously good mood was going to break at some point, as it had back in the police car on Christmas Eve.

That darker side of her was there if you looked, in that weird room of hers. The one he was forbidden from entering. It was some sort of art project, though he was at a loss to try and explain it. He’d chanced a closer look once while she was taking a shower. Most of it looked pretty disturbing. In one corner lay what he was certain was an actual dead animal, painted and laid out on what looked like a shrine. He’d tried convincing himself it was just a well-made toy. 

Whatever possessed her in this place seemed to stay within its confines, but even he had to admit, for how long?

“I’ll give her the news,” he groaned, dreading what might be in store when she snapped.

“You make damned sure you sit her down and tell her exactly why it’s over!”

“Because you said so?” Chris sniped with a sidelong glance.

“Because you were an idiot and never meant for it to get this far!” 

Chris closed his eyes, grimacing, and opened the door. “She’s going to kill me.”

“Don’t you dare leave that house until she understands!” Daniels shouted at his back, before the door slammed behind him.

Any hope that Daniels would simply drive off was quickly quashed. He wasn’t going to let him off that easily. The Sergeant had no intention of leaving.

He took his time shuffling to the front door and knocked loudly, praying she wouldn’t answer. When her thrilled face appeared, ready to leap onto him, he knew he couldn’t break the news. As much as he tried not to acknowledge it, she was a ticking time bomb, and he was the fuse.

“Heeeyyy!!!!! Two times in one day!?”

“I uh… I think I forgot my keys,” he stalled.

She grabbed him by the hand, giggling. “I might be hiding them somewhere oooon meee!”

Chris cracked a smile, making sure the man behind him couldn’t see it. “I think this calls for a thorough search.” 

With a squeal of delight, she yanked him inside as he grabbed the door handle, pulling it with him. What harm was there in one last ride before he left for good? She’d figure it out eventually. When he was long, long gone and well out of her reach. 

He never returned. It was nearly a week before Dana suspected something was wrong. Two months ago when all this had started, he came by only once or twice a week. Lately, though, he was there almost every day. When the fourth and then fifth day passed without hearing him at the door she began to worry. By the sixth, alarm bells were ringing in her head. He wasn’t coming back, and she had no idea why. 

Dana often found reasons to stay near the front door, just in case she missed his knock. The hallway had never looked cleaner. She even patched up some of the cracks in the wall in addition to repairing a bit of the wallpaper as best she could. She would have rented a rug cleaner, but was afraid to leave the house in case he came by. If only he had trusted her with his number, or address, she could have found out what was going on.

She hadn’t been to work either, though he was aware of her schedule and avoided coming at those times. She’d feigned some illness in favor of keeping a watchful eye.

Two weeks passed and then three before leaving the house became a necessity. The long-expired packet of Tex-Mex seasoning she’d mixed with some forgotten oats wasn’t sitting well with her. She needed food. 

Hoping to run into him, she combed the area where they’d first met. After only an hour, she gave up. She didn’t even know if he’d been assigned to walk a beat there. He’d been careful not to mention what exactly he did nowadays. Eventually Dana had to admit that she wouldn’t happen to stumble upon him this way. It was time for more drastic measures.

Surveying the police station for hours or days would attract unwanted attention, so that was out of the question. Her mind may have been fractured, but she wasn’t stupid. All she needed was to be there at the right time – shift change. She positioned herself on a park bench an hour early, in view of the parking lot. His car wasn’t there. Good. He hadn’t started work yet and couldn’t possibly miss her. She’d be sitting right there when he drove in. Satisfied, she took out a sandwich and began her watch.

Dana jolted upright, cursing her wandering attention span. Some bickering squirrels above had distracted her, causing her to miss his car driving in. He had already parked and was getting out. Him, and HER? Who the fuck was she? And what were they doing together? Neither was in uniform, yet there she was. In HIS car, with HIM. The one getting out of the passenger side. A pretty young brunette. She was smiling and laughing, moving around the car, getting WAY too close to his goofy-eyed side. He certainly didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was leaning in closer, so obviously doing his best to ensure his arm would ‘accidentally’ graze hers.

Dana crushed the remains of her sandwich in her furious fist, the wet tuna oozing out every gap between her fingers. Without even stopping to inspect the mess, she threw it hard to the left where it splattered against the shoes of an unfortunate passer-by.

So that’s why he left her. 

She rose to her feet, emitting a vicious deep-throated growl, giving the annoyed walker pause. He had intended on bellowing a few hastily chosen words, but he’d never heard anyone sound so convincingly like a rabid Pitbull who’d missed her last few meals. Her stance didn’t help either. Every muscle on her body was tensed, her feet planted wide, as if ready to launch herself forward with full force. If she had hackles, they’d be standing on end. The bystander made the sensible choice to simply walk on. A bit of mayo and fish on his newly bought loafers was significantly preferable to getting throttled.

The two had no shame, flirting so openly right in front of her. It was bad enough getting dumped in the manner she had, but did he have to parade her replacement in public like this? And why not? She certainly had everything that Dana did not. Clear commonality, a better figure, a better face and she was obviously more stable. You didn’t get to be a police officer if you were mentally deranged. 

She cried out when Chris finally achieved his aim. A hand on the woman’s forearm.

“MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

As if in slow motion, Chris turned his head, spotting Dana’s bright red hair almost immediately. Not that he needed the visual confirmation. He knew. Knew exactly who had said it and why. At least, he assumed Dana was mad that he’d dumped her with no explanation. He had no idea she thought she’d been replaced by someone better, because she hadn’t. Not yet.

It was true he was attracted to his new work partner, but he hadn’t got anywhere with her. He’d do his best to impress her, always trying to make her laugh, but the most he’d gotten in return was a playful brush-off. All that accomplished was to make him try harder.

When he heard Dana’s tortured cry, he braced himself for a confrontation, but she was on the other side of the fence’s security gate. He was grateful for that. She could yell all she liked, but all he had to do was walk into the station. She would cool off eventually and leave, he assumed. He underestimated her.

“Aw, come on! Best margaritas in town. I’ll even buy!”

“Are you asking me out?” Melanie laughed. The kid was cute, but desperate, and not the first one she’d partnered with that got a little too interested. They’d flirt, they’d tease, but it always ended the same way. He’d find out through the grapevine she wasn’t single. Or interested in men for that matter. She just really loved to fuck with them and their cute little attempts to impress her.

“Yeah!” he laughed back before noticing a sudden change in her expression. To one of horror.

Thinking he crossed a line, Chris stammered “It was just a-“

“RRAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

He turned around just in time see two fists locked together swinging in from the side and right for his face. A glimpse of pillarbox red told him who was behind it. He tried to duck out of the way, but his efforts came far too late. A split second later he felt nothing but pain, the cartilage of his nose getting the brunt of her fury. He stood stupidly in shock, raising a hand to his mouth to feel the warm sticky wetness of his own blood.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” he cried out, then sidestepped a second attempt.

“YOU FUCKED ME AND THEN FUCKED ME YOU FUCK!!!”

Melanie, the better officer of the two, had gotten a hold of Dana’s hands, pulling them behind her back with the intention of cuffing her, but Dana wasn’t ready to be taken so easily. With unexpected strength, she screamed out her curses while trying to twist and tear her way out of the hold.

“GET OFF ME YOU BITCH!!! HUSSY! HOMEWRECKER!!!”

Chris jumped back a step when she nearly did tug her way free, cradling his nose, still stunned.

The whole lobby had gone silent, the few officers present reaching for nightsticks and weapons, ready to jump in if needed. 

Dana let out an unholy snarl and made one last bid to get back at the man who had hurt her. Putting all of her weight into Melanie’s chest arms she kicked out with her legs, not even getting close.

“YOU FUCKED ME! YOU FUCKED ME GOOD! YOU FUCKING… FUCK!!!!”

“DO YOU KNOW HER!?” Melanie shouted, doing her best to keep the woman contained.

“I brought her in on Christmas Eve! She was running around naked screeching with laughter!”

“What were the charges?”

“Assaulting an officer! She BIT me!”

Dana dug deep in her throat and produced a massive wad of phlegm. It would have hit Chris right in his already injured face had he not snapped back to attention, dodging out of its way. 

“I SHOULD HAVE BITTEN OFF YOUR COCK WHILE I HAD THE CHANCE!!”

“Alright, settle own!” Melanie said demandingly.

“Someone get a goddamned spit hood!” Chris screamed to the small crowd that had formed.

“Would you get some cuffs already!?” Melanie shouted, getting tired of his inept gawking.

“ME!? She’s trying to kill me!”

“GET ME SOME CUFFS NOW!” Melanie barked at the closest gawker in uniform.

The stunned officer fumbled at his belt, then went to toss over a pair, much to her annoyance. Her hands were a bit busy right now.

“Throw them to him!!” she commanded, indicating Chris with a snap of her head. This woman was getting harder to keep under control. 

“You. Are. DEAD!!!!” Dana screamed, furious at being unable to get to him. Frustrated and failing to think clearly, she did all that came to mind to express herself, lunging forward and barking loudly, interspersed with vicious snarls. 

“What the hell is wrong her!?” Melanie cried, struggling to keep her in place.

“She’s nuts!” Chris shouted back grabbing the cuffs and then the spit hood that had been tossed his way. “Can’t you see that!?”

“Just cuff her already!”

Eyeing both the cuffs and the hood it was easy enough, even for him to realize they needed the former first. He wasn’t going near her head until she was restrained. Melanie forced Dana to a sitting position on the pavement while Chris made a wide berth around her to avoid her legs, slipping on the cuffs with no further delay. Melanie took it upon herself to do the rest. His ineptitude was beginning to piss her off. 

Dana was screaming something, fighting Melanie’s attempts at getting the hood on to no avail, but it didn’t make any sense. It just sounded like random angry words with guttural growls and high-pitched yips blended in, enough to make anyone think she was insane.

As Chris held her tight, a thought emerged. Insane enough to erase myself from this story. No one needed to know they’d been involved. It could so easily be spun as a delusion, a product of her deranged and overactive imagination. 

He stood up slowly, eyeing the group of onlookers. Surely one of them would be quick to take action…

Pulling her gently to her feet, he loosened his grip on Dana’s arms, knowing full well she may try to escape his grasp if she chose to, then called out loud enough for all ears to hear. “Throw her in a cell and call psych! Make damned sure they know she’s violent!”

A lifetime of being written off as mentally ill, maladjusted, and broken brought forth a blinding wrath from within. Her parents had thought her deranged, her aunt had only seen her as a cash cow. Doctors and therapists had all had their turns, poking and prodding her mind, drugging her up to see if she could be fixed. She was NOT wrong, she was NOT insane. None of this had been a delusion! She spun around, easily breaking Chris’ grip.

“I am NOT CRAZY!!!!”  

As soon as she broke free, Chris prudently stepped out of the way, correctly suspecting she’d be coming for him, intentionally disregarding his police training. Dana threw herself at the spot where she had heard him last, screaming like her skin was being licked by the fires of hell. She nearly got him too, before her attack was rudely halted by a pain in her side. The jolt contracted every muscle in her body and then spread until she no longer had control over her own faculties. Her body simply failed, sending her tumbling to the ground in soundless agony. Chris breathed a sigh of relief looking down on her paralyzed form. She’d be out of his life soon enough. 

Two uniformed officers rushed in, one being the officer who had used the taser. They quickly busied themselves making sure she was more securely restrained.

He looked up just in time to see Melanie, the woman he’d been flirting with just a moment ago regarding him with a mixture of disgust and suspicion.

“Who is this woman? Why is she after you?”

“Just some woman I picked up for public indecency!” he exclaimed, praying she wouldn’t see through the white lie. “All I did was try to help her! I kept an eye on her, followed her home. She was suicidal, I couldn’t just leave! She must have gotten the wrong idea, gotten attached!”

For a moment it seemed she hadn’t believed one word, until her stern regard softened. “Never get so personally involved,” she said with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m figuring that out, thanks,” he said miserably, milking it for all it was worth. “I just don’t understand how or why she came after me like that.”

Melanie placed an empathetic hand on his shoulder. “She’ll get the help that she needs.”

They watched as the two officers got her back on her feet, groggy and uncoordinated. Chris was grateful for the hood still firmly over her head. 

“Let the doctors dose her up until she starts making some sense,” he said, louder than was necessary. “Don’t get caught up in her delusions!”

“OFFICER WHITE!! IN MY OFFICE!”

Chris froze, knowing exactly who had said that. His eyes snapped to the side, confirming his worst fear. His senior and mentor, Sergeant Daniels, stood a few yards away, livid. He’d heard the commotion from his office down the hall, seen everything that happened in the last minute or two, and just now, had caught every falsehood that spilled from Chris’ mouth.

He had nowhere to turn, he’d been caught once again, only this time the consequences would be far more severe. He’d tried to get her committed, to cover his own tracks. He swallowed deeply, his face pale as the white coats that would soon take Dana away.

“NOW!!!!!”

Chris took one last look at the ruinous woman, cursing the day he’d ever set eyes on her, then shuffled off, cold and fearful to discover his fate.

“Bring her over here too!” Daniels barked at the two officers who were clearly averse to letting her go so easily.

“Sir, she’s under arrest!” one proclaimed, gripping Dana defensively.

“Yes she is, and I will take care of it!” he replied so forcefully it left them hesitant to disobey. They looked at each other with discomfort, then dragged her over, defeated and barely able to operate her feet.

Daniels glared at the young Chris and shoved him inside the office, then turned to the others. “Set her down on the bench,” he said sternly, indicating the seat next to him. “And take that damned hood off of her!”

“Sir, she tried-“

“I know what she did and why! Now take it off!”

The first officer carefully pulled it off of her, prepared to jump back, or defend himself if necessary, which was hardly needed. Still reeling from the effects of the taser, she could barely hold her head up much less fight. With the rage behind her came the inevitable crash. The only person she might hurt now was herself.

“Dana,” he called softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder trying to garner a response, a sign of recognition but there was nothing. Her eyes were vacant, her ears refusing to hear.

“Keep an eye on her. Don’t let her bolt.”

It was then that Daniels went into his office, slammed the door and unleashed the full force of his rage. Nearly every word could be heard clearly by those who passed or lingered, hearing the truth revealed, one shout at a time. The air shook with Daniels’ wrath when he recounted the events of the last hour, citing phrases such as ‘cover up’ and ‘gross misconduct’. All in the vicinity learned of the deception and Daniels’ bellowed threats to have him thrown off the force for abusing his power. One by one people snuck a glance Dana’s way, beginning to understand the complexities of what had just happened. No one believed she could simply walk away from this, but there may be room for an iota of leniency.

Dana dreaded the quiet that followed. Soon it would be over, and her turn would be up. Chris’ fate hardly mattered any more, the details irrelevant. He’d surely get what he deserved, but what of her?

It was right at that moment the young officer emerged, white as a sheet. He pointedly avoided looking at her, or anyone else, and walked briskly away, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Daniels quickly followed, adjusting his shirt, his face grim and glowering. “Come in,” he said, his face inscrutable. 

Dana sat down, as he closed the door, wanting to disappear. Her heart pounded, her breath coming in quick and shallow. She’d had acted on pure emotion as always, but she knew that this time she wouldn’t be walking away from it. Daniels was furious and worst of all, disappointed in her. 

“Are you OK?”

She was startled by the question, enough to look up at him briefly. Then with a grimace she looked back down at the floor, tapping the side of her head with one finger, before letting her fingers flutter away. She had no words to accompany the gesture, but he understood. She’d lost control of her mind again. 

“Dana, look at me.” She knew she couldn’t avoid it. 

“What happened to you?” he asked, removing the handcuffs, feeling he could trust her not to run off. She rubbed her wrists intently. “You were doing well once you got your own place and a job. It seems every time I see you now, you’re out of control. You’re becoming a public nuisance and it’s painful to watch!”

“He fucked me over!”

“Yeah, he did, and you need to find a better way to handle it!”

“But-“

“SHUT UP AND LISTEN!” he barked. 

She recoiled in shock. It was the first time he’d ever raised his voice to her.

“After all I’ve done for you Dana. The house, the job – your inheritance for God sake! All the help you’ve had and still this!? I am struggling to understand WHY you keep doing the things you do! You are smart, capable and though you don’t always show it, you’ve got optimism. There is something inside of you that refuses to give in. I saw that the second I first laid eyes on you!”

“I’m not the naive kid you rescued from the street. I’m better!”

“BETTER? You had a new life and things were going well! Now look at you! This is not the first time I’ve seen you in handcuffs! How the hell did you end up becoming a thorn in the world’s side?’

“IT NEVER WENT WELL! I WAS ALONE, IN AN EMPTY FUCKING HOUSE WITHOUT A SINGLE FRIEND!” she screamed, eyes welled with tears. “NOBODY LIKED ME! NOBODY WANTED TO BE AROUND ME! PEOPLE LAUGHED AT ME, TEASED ME, TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME!”

“You could have talked to me! You could have talked to any one of the people I sent your way to help! Counsellors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists!”

“I’M NOT CRAZY!!!”

He sighed, sitting back in his chair. “No, you’re not. But you have more problems than I can help you with. Dana, you’re under arrest.”

“What!?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID!” he roared.

She shrank back into the chair, now scared. 

“Now, Chris, in his grossly delayed wisdom, has decided not to press charges. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook! Officer Laslow and six other witnesses saw you assault him! A weapon was discharged! Do you have any idea how much fucking paperwork there is to fill out!”

She’d never heard him swear and did her best to sink even further into the seat.

“When I’m done with you, I’m throwing you in a holding cell. If you know what’s good for you, you’llcontact a lawyer. Get a good one, I know you can afford it.”

His eyes then became cold and detached. “I’m washing my hands of you this time, Dana. You’re on your own. I won’t be there to protect or defend you.”

“Robert?”

“THAT’S SERGEANT DANIELS TO YOU NOW!!” Tears welled up in her eyes as she fully realized the gravity of her situation.

“Please, please don’t do this.”

“I will do one thing for you and only one!”

He took a business card from his desk and handed it over to her. 

“You promise to start seeing her, AND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR PROMISE, the trial judge might look at you more favorably.”

She leaned forward a bit but didn’t pick it up. It was the number for a therapist. She curled her lip, glaring at him then flicked the card back.

“I’m fine the way I am,” she responded with newly simmering anger.

“You’ve tried it on your own and you failed!”

“I’M NOT THE PROBLEM, EVERYONE ELSE IS!”

“This isn’t negotiable!” he said firmly, with a warning in his eyes. “You assaulted an officer!”

“I’m fine when people treat me well!” she exclaimed, her voice fraught with panic. 

“I just need ONE person, ONE guy to see the good in me. ONE guy to want me the way I am, and I’ll be fine!” Her voice rose with desperate conviction. 

“Your salvation isn’t in a man! It’s in you!”

This time there were no tears. Dana squared her jaw and was firm. “Professor Dockett values me and I’m fine.”

Dockett, the one anomaly in a long line of bad relations. “You get along with one person and you think that absolves the rest of your behavior?”

“You treat me like a person and I’m fine,” she added, quieter this time.

“Dana, whether you want to hear it or not, you are not well! You need help!”

“THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!”

“NORMAL PEOPLE DON’T CHARGE INTO POLICE STATIONS AND START THROWING PUNCHES!”

In the resounding silence that followed, he slid the card across the desk back to her.

“It’s just a therapist Dana. Not a psychiatrist, not a police officer. She’s not going to be scared away by you or think badly of you. She’s just there to listen and help.”              

She quietly took the card, running a finger across its surface.

“Will the hurt go away?”

“Probably not, but you’ll be strong enough to let it matter less.”

Still focused on the card she started to sob, then looking back at him with profound pain in her eyes. “I just want someone to like me the way I am. I don’t want to change.”

He stood up and stiffened his back, his eyes receding away from her.

“Dana, you’re under arrest for assault. You have the right to remain silent…”

The rest of the words faded from recognition.

******

She entered the house but could go no further. The judge had granted her bail. Despite her money she wasn’t a flight risk, he’d said. He was right. Where would she go but here? Slowly she sank to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and drawing them in close. Little by little, the thoughts and memories of the recent past consumed what potential joy still remained. This house had been her sanctuary. Now it felt emptier than ever before. 

Voices tormented her, whispering their distortions, chipping away at her shattered confidence. Soon she was racked with heaving sobs, expressing a lifetime of rejection and hurt. When the tears finally dried, she lay down on her side with nothing left but a vacant stare. Sleep only came in fits and starts.

Morning brought no relief. Tortured thoughts exhausted her, refusing to allow her to seek revival in a refreshing shower, or food to quell the dull ache in her stomach. She rejected them both, giving into misery. She had nothing left in her to fight it, nor the will to. She rose shakily to her feet, and went back outside, leaving the door ajar. The sky was thick with charcoal grey clouds and filled with the smell of imminent rain. She descended the stoop, feeling the first drops arrive, numb to their cold intrusion. Eyes and mind vacant, she started walking, not intending to return.